I'm starting to understand more and more that 1) all psychotherapy is actually no more than individualized applied philosophy, 2) studying and, dare I say it, understanding psychotherapy is a slippery slope (akin to "understanding" quantum physics), and 3) there is no way that anyone studying therapy cannot change or expect no change to occur.
I understand that therapy is derived, at its roots, from both ancient and modern philosophers. Sure, Socrates was a philosopher, but I find the chance scarce that anyone could masterfully argue that Rogers, Ellis, or Freud didn't work in the same vein. My reading into each author's work forces not only queries specific to technique and therapeutic intent, but also those general, unanswerable questions about life, the universe, and everything.
It is this study and self-questioning that leads me to sit in my recliner in the twilight of the evening, understanding nothing. This lack of understanding, or, better put, this surplus of questions with a marked deficit in answers pushes me forward to study more in the vain hope that I will find these answers. Is it all for naught? I'm not even at the end of my theoretical quest (will I ever be?) and already I know that it will be worth it. This is one of the many situations in life where the journey is much more worthwhile than the goal.
Already, even in my relative infancy in this program, I have found my place along the theoretical spectrum, my temperament, and my view of the outside world changing. I firmly believe that program, more specifically, as class such as this requires introspection and personal change. Without this flexibility, how am I to effect real change in anyone else's life? To not be altered or to not be open to being altered by such an experience is akin to an unforgivable sin in this course of study.
I'd like to end this entry with one thought: When I was little, my parents told me to always be positive. I don't believe this is possible. When I was in college, my instructors told me to always be skeptical. I don't believe this to be healthy. Now I believe that it's enough to always be thoughtful.