I have come to the conclusion that action in therapy is scary to me. I would much rather not be responsible for other people's actions, which I am most logically not. But, were I to suggest a course of action and then were that to lead to some negative action, I would most assuredly feel badly. This has pushed me to take a very inactive approach to therapy of late. With this, I have been feeling very ineffective. That, though is important: How effective am I being in the therapy room? Effectiveness can be measured in many ways, but I think that one very important way to measure its opposite - ineffectiveness - is to check the activity of the therapist.
I have been sequestering myself to a type of therapy involving minimal reflections, interpretations, or advice-giving. I am still of the opinion that advice is pretty much shit, but it must sometimes be given, depending on the client at hand. Unfortunately, some clients need to be told what to do. Perhaps a reason why I was scared (which is the correct word) to really do things is because I was afraid of being responsible for others' care and wellbeing. I was scared that a stray word from me could push a client to some kind of excessive negative behavior. While this is a possibility, of curse, it is a bit extreme. I was also afraid that an imperfect person should not be able/is not suitable to guide a client in self-development.
I can't say that my outlook has changed much, but, at least at this point, I am trying to rectify the symptoms by learning more skills-based therapies to help to decrease the immediate suffering of the client.
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